Wednesday, March 28, 2012

All hail the mini egg

Since I was on the topic of trainers, I figured I'd quickly share this tidbit.

A close friend of mine is also heavier like me and working towards her goals with the boot-camps and personal training sessions as well.  Her chubby buddy's is my chubby buddy`s friend.  We've been doing this together for just over a year and have got a good vibe going on.

So, yesterday, she had her personal training session with the trainer I generally work with (who is also the nutritionist and not the one who complimented me this morning.)  Jesh, I should really give him a name.  Lets call him Mike and the one I don`t see eye to eye with Sam.

Mike had my friend on the stepper killing her cardio when he pulls out mini eggs.  Yes, this nutritionist / trainer ate mini eggs in front of my friend while training her.  Mike can get away with a lot, we've become friends with him and have partied with him but, I'm sure you'd all agree with me that eating chocolate in front of a fat girl trying to resist said chocolate for week is just evil! Especially when said friend had been craving them for 2 weeks.

My friend shared this information with me in the evening and I was superiorly annoyed with him... like really dude?  you think you're helping?  She yelled at him during the workout and made him put them away and still yelled at him for having mini-egg breath.  But I decided he needed to be yelled at more. lol.  Now, it isn't really yelling, but a more friendly telling off over text messages.  He laughed at me and told me he`d bring the crème eggs to my workout with him on Friday.  Now that works for me, since I don`t like the crème eggs at all.  Mini eggs I could just hover up.  We bantered back and forth for a bit and I was still prepared to kick his ass if he brought out chocolate in front of me on Friday.

Well, trainers talk and at 4:30 today as I was at work I got a text from Mike saying good job on the workout this morning and that he was eating mini eggs again at the gym.  He was just about to start the afternoon boot-camp at my company and I threatened to come over and steal the eggs from him; that he shouldn't come between a fat girl and his chocolate.  However, I wasn't about to put my hand down his pocket and there was no way in hell I`d ever be able to catch the quick fuck, so with an hour left to work, all I could think about were mini eggs.

MINI EGGS oh how I love you.

Damn Mike.

So I was horrible, undid all my hard work today and made myself chocolate chip cookie dough for dinner.  I didn't eat any of the healthy chicken or vegetables all prepared in my fridge like a good girl would have.  No, since I refused to spend money on mini eggs (I'm cheap cheap cheap), I did myself even worse and ate cookie dough.  *sigh*  I don`t know if this friendship with the nutritionist is going to work.  I'm sitting here feeling ill over the dough and cursing myself for not being stronger.

OK wow, I wasn't planning on writing about that in this blog entry, but as I was explaining the evil nutritionist, I realized why I made that cookie dough. Admitting that food slip was really hard ~ putting it out there for the world to judge, for anyone who reads this to judge was so much harder than posting the pictures.  It was admitting to a total fat girl cliché.  But I needed to put it in there since I figured it out.

I made and ate the cookie dough without even thinking.  Mindless, stupid, and wow.  Hopefully, now that I know my trigger, I can prevent this in the future.  On my drive home, all I could think about was how much I wanted bad food and how much I didn't care how it would hurt my weight loss.  I think, possibly, I got into the mindset of I'm fat, I always will be fat, and if I want the darn cookie dough / mini eggs, then why the hell not!  Or else I just really wanted something bad and since I couldn't have mini eggs, I substituted something I could make quickly at home.   Mindless eating.  I really need to get a handle on that.

Since I've finished punishing myself, I need help with coming up with a payback for Mike that doesn't involve harming myself and eating bad food.  Don't worry, I've got that covered all on my own!

Any ideas?

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